Whether we realize it or not, we have all been mentored at some point in our lives. Webster defines a mentor as a “wise advisor, teacher or coach.” We have all been taught by someone, coached in a skill or talent, or sought counsel from a trusted authority. Our desire at Faith-Centered Mentoring and More is to see people intentionally seek to be mentored and in return mentor others to be more like Christ.

In the process of your search, stop looking for the ideal mentor. One of the most common questions we get from people is, “How can I find the right mentor?” When we talk further, we learn they’re hesitating about entering mentoring relationships because they haven’t yet found the right one.

Somewhere along the way, these individuals were advised to choose a mentor who has a “compatible style” with theirs plus a number of other assets (e.g., is a good listener, has a high sense of integrity, “genuinely cares about me as a person,” and has plenty of time available).

As terrific as it would be to find a willing mentor with all of these qualities, it’s smart and a lot more efficient to find and start working with a mentor who may initially not seem like the perfect match. Remember, this is a temporary mentoring partnership, not a lifelong commitment.

Since you should have multiple mentors anyway, see if you can look at your mentor pool in new ways. Gently pull mentoring from a variety of helpers, including at least one who may seem less than ideal. Prayerfully seek answers to questions like these as you pursue effective mentoring relationships:

1. Why do I want to be mentored? What do I expect to achieve?

Make certain you have a willingness to be mentored and at least one desired outcome you want to see as a result of mentoring. If we read John 6:60-71, Jesus delivered some heavy mentoring but not all the followers liked what they heard and some stopped following Him. However, in verse 67 when Jesus asked His disciples if they too wanted to go away their response was, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the answers of eternal life." The disciples had come to believe that Jesus was the Son of God and they wanted to be in fellowship with Him and they wanted to become like Him. Know what you want the outcomes to be and trust that with God’s direction, your relationship will achieve these goals.

2. Whom can I consider as my mentors?

A mentor can come in many forms…a parent, a friend, a spouse, a pastor, a co- worker, a coach, and many other possible people. The key ingredient is that the mentor has a Christ-like character evident to others. Look at the example that Paul set as he mentors Timothy.

• Is humble. In I Timothy 1:12-17 Paul realized that he was not worthy of all that God had done in His life and he humbly gave God the glory.
• Glorifies God. In 2 Timothy 4:18 Paul gave God all the glory. Choose a mentor who doesn’t take the credit but gives the lion share of it to God.
• Is thankful. A thankful spirit shows that your mentor truly is humble and appreciative of his or her role. In 2 Timothy 1:3, Paul was thankful for the opportunity to be a part of Timothy’s life.
• Is confident. Consider mentors who have a God-given confidence in what they believe and the counsel they give. In 2 Timothy 1:8, Paul was not ashamed of the gospel but was confident in its results.
• Is saved. If possible, pursue mentors who have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. It was evident in Paul’s life and speech that he was a child of God. (2 Timothy 1:9-10)
• Is loyal. Try to identify mentors who will see you through to your goals. In 2 Timothy 1:13-18, Paul speaks of those that had deserted him and encourages Timothy to hold fast to the truth.
• Sets an example. In 2 Timothy 2:7 and 3:10, Paul has no problem challenging Timothy to follow his words and actions. Seek mentors who live what they promise.
• Is bold. Choose mentors who are not afraid to speak the truth in love, even if it is tough advice. Paul was upfront with Timothy and told him that he would suffer and reminded him about what would happen in the future. At the same time, Paul encouraged and gave Timothy wise counsel about how to handle adversity. (2 Timothy 3:1-15)

3. What are some of the roles my mentor can play?

Once you are sure that the character of your mentors is one that represents Christ, start to define exactly what the roles of the mentors will be. Again, Paul sets a great example as he mentored Timothy to be like Christ.

• To urge and push you in the right direction. (I Timothy 1:3)
• To instruct and give you Biblical counsel. (I Timothy 1:5, I Timothy 4:6-11, 2 Timothy 2:1-7, 2 Timothy 2:14-17, 2 Timothy 6:11-16)
• To charge and exhort you. (I Timothy 1:18, I Timothy 2:1, 2 Timothy 4:1-5).
• To pray for and with you. (2 Timothy 2:1)
• To encourage you in the faith and in life. (I Timothy 4:12-16, 2 Timothy 6:20-21)
• To give you hope for the future. (2 Timothy 4:17-18)

The example that Paul set for Timothy was a model that we should all follow. Take a close look at your mentoring relationships and how you can progress from being mentored to mentoring others.