Forgiving can be very, very difficult, Even when we know God wants us to do it, we should do it, and we might even be glad if and when we ever got up the gumption to actually go through with it, all of us stay stuck sometimes in what we call “non-forgiveness.”

We’ve done considerable research on the consequences of not forgiving. Maybe reviewing the following chain of events and consequences will help you see if any of these actions and consequences are standing in your way and having negative consequences for you.

Typical Non-Forgiveness Progression

The diagram depicts what usually happens when we resist God’s commands to forgive. For example, if we’ve been hurt by someone and aren’t willing or able to forgive at that point, we’ll start to feel resentment toward these persons (hurters). We’ll hold onto the hurt and resentment, probably finding things that they do that irritate and even anger us.

We’ll build up a strong rationale in our minds about how we’re right and deserving to feel this way. Chances are we’ll become convinced that not forgiving is the solution in this instance.

This causes us to pull away, creating more separation between our hurters and us and maybe even between us and God. Bitterness sets in, eating away at our spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social health and well-being

In the worse case, as a result of all these actions and consequences, we’re barely surviving. At the least, we’re keeping ourselves from thriving. We keep cycling back, remembering the hurt, and repeating the cycle all over again.

In Part 2 (posted here in September), we’ll explore another progression, that of Forgiving. (If you can’t wait, order one of our training modules, Letting Go of Bitterness, listed under What We Offer.) Meanwhile, thanks for visiting, and let us know your own experiences with not forgiving.